From Zero to Pissed Off in 1.2 Seconds!
- April 06, 2019
- Joanna Thoms
We all have “those” notorious behaviors for which we are known. By “those”, I mean the ones that don’t necessarily show our best sides. Are you known for being one of the most inebriated at the company parties or family gatherings? Are you known for driving insanely fast and tailgating? Are you known for saying “fuck” in just about every sentence you speak? Are you known for having extreme emotional reactions? Are you known for going from zero to pissed off in 1.2 seconds? Do you even know if you’re known for any of “those” kinds of behaviors?
The common denominator in all of these behaviors/responses is that they are irrational and illogical, and we are typically unaware of their irrationality and illogicality, or don’t know how to do/be any differently. Also, they all have negative ripple effects on our lives (hangovers, career limiting moves, car accidents, turn-offs to those around us, etc.). Last Saturday, I went from zero to pissed off in 1.2 seconds over a work situation. I was more angry at myself for doing so ….. again …. than anything else.
I had hit my head against that wall for the last time. The level of my emotion nowhere near matched the situation that had initiated it. My zero-to-pissed-off response didn’t make sense. So, I asked myself, “Why did I respond so irrationally? And kept digging deeper and deeper by asking “why” to each answer until I hit the core reason . . . . the trigger. It’s like digging a sliver out. . . it can hurt like a son of a gun.
The trigger was the cause of my unwarranted overreaction/behavior, not the actual work situation that had happened. What beautiful peace came over me since I could now address coming to resolve with the core reason. Depending on the core reason, it may be necessary to engage a therapist to guide us through and to resolve (or to help dig out the sliver), yet other times just naming the core reason takes away its power to drive us to irrational and illogical behaviors and emotional responses.
Challenge yourself to wake up and see the behaviors and emotional reactions that are hurting you. It’s empowering!